take it easy..

I am lost and have not been found. I am here and yet you will not stare. I will leave and I suppose we will see. All I can feel inside is a void. And in the next moment everything begins to tear up into shreds and I begin to wither. From the inside out, all I want to do is shout. But my throat closes and everything begins to melt. Like hot liquid, it runs right down. I can feel it burn and everything turns. I close my eyes and hear nothing but lies. And yet it will not let me die. My lips form a shape but not one whisper will escape. My hands reach out but I can't feel anything about. And my heart gives a start. What will keep us apart?

ceiling star..

I will kiss your lips
and hold your hand
every single time
we step outside.

I will tell you
how beautiful you are
incomparable to the
brightest star.

I will lie by your side
and listen to
the rise and tide
of all that is inside.

I will forever watch
as the sun dances
and rain plays
all over your skin.

I will never forget
when I look into your eyes
and see all those times
we loved and sighed.

winter song...

While there seems to be a disconnect in our connect, it is ok, because I know in the end that we will unify, that we will hold each others hands and no longer pacify. I cannot wait until I can see your breath, until I can feel a snowflake brush across my cheek as I walk down the street with you by my side. And to get warm we will sip hot chocolate and sit on the couch side by side. I cannot wait until this time. When I say goodbye, I will wrap you in my scarf and tuck your hair to the side. I will hold you close and sing you lullabyes. And each day I will think of tomorrow, and the next time I will see you. If I could I would stretch the moments so that each single one lasts forever, because time is never enough when I am around you.

beyond belief...

Into what you can see
There is nothing but me
And as the sky begins to clear
Everything becomes sheer
Love is what I hold
Our story has yet to be told
And there is no one but you
Together we stand

just a glimpse

So being an international development student in the political economy stream, I come across my fair share of poli sci students. And let me tell you.. these are some of the best students ever! I actually love them, and have such a deep respect for them. They hold such knowledge of the political affairs throughout the world that it is truly astounding, and I find myself struggling to keep up with them. Today on my way to drop off a paper for another class, after my conflict and conflict resolution class ended, I came across not one, or two groups of poli sci students, but 3!! And all 3 of these different clusters of students were having heated debates about what we were just previously talking about in class. It put a smile on my face and definitely made my day. It made me think, that these are real students, they were not studying but instead actually talking and discussing what they had learned. I feel like there needs to be more of these types of students in the student population. They hold such potential for our society and for our future generations. And thats just a glimpse into the everyday thoughts of Bethany!

ciao

essentially...

I drift off to sleep
and my mind
begins to weep
it tells a story
of a time
before me
I see you happy
with someone
whose not me
and in my sleep
I try not to
make a peep
because while
you are happy
I am sad it is
not me.

Im not your princess, this aint a fairy tale

I close my eyes
and I begin to realize
That I am slowly
wrapping myself
around you
That all I want to do
is hold you
And when I begin
to let go
All I can feel
is me unwind
And when I feel
myself fall
Its ok if I stall
Because wrapped
around your body
Is the only place
I want to be.

chatter chatter chatter

The day of giving... I LOVE thanksgiving.. would you like to know why I love it so much?? Because your entire family gets together for no other reason than to spend time with each other. That's what I'm thankful for; that we love each other enough to spend time with one another when presents aren't involved, when all that's involved is giving thanks to what you have and of course a turkey dinner. It is by far my favourite holiday, and it takes place in my favourite season! Autumn is so beautiful, especially in the countryside. I love being able to look out my window and watch the leaves turn colour, to go outside and feel how crisp the air is. I love it all. Today my mother and I went on a little walk, and it really wasn't much of a walk at all to be honest, what we did is walk around a local Labryinth. In case you don't know what that is (and I didn't), it's a unicircular path that leads to its middle, kind of maze like and confusing as hell! But its suppose to be a place for meditation. It was pretty cool, although I was a little wary at first walking around a circle with my mom haha. There's a cool site where you can locate local labryinths, so should you feel in the mood check it out:

http://labyrinthlocator.com/

Anyways I best get ready for turkey dinner tonight. Here's a picture from our thanksgiving dinner we had last weekend since a few family members would be away hunting this weekend.

Happy Turkeying :)

live your life..

Do you remember the time
When I held you in my arms
And told you that I loved your hair?

Do you remember all those moments
When I couldn't help but stare?

Do you remember when I told you
That I love you?

Do you remember what it was
like when we weren't a 'we'?

I remember when you took
my breath away

I remember when I could
only think of you

I remember when you were
a supporting shoulder

I remember all the ways that
you cared.

there goes my life...

to kiss you
is to miss you
as soon as our lips
no longer touch at the tips
my heart begins to tear
and I'll all but swear
that I have lost
what I love most

we will rock you..

love is but a word
and yet it carries a sword
you pierce right through my heart
and I can feel it start
slowly the blood moves through
and there's no one left but you

chasing pavements...

I lie
only to tie
me to you
this is not a rue
my hand slowly slips
as it begins to lose grip
and my heart breaks
but I'm not a fake
you begin to see
everything but me
and I know
that you won't show

use somebody...

Well its been awhile since I last wrote, a whole seven months!! I dont really know how I let it get to be so long. Actually I do.. I have issues with keeping up with things, school is one of them. Im already behind.. like way behind! But thats life I suppose. So im in my fourth year.. and scared shitless. I have no plans for next year and I dont really know when I should be applying for things like master programs and internships. Ive definitely let that go to the wayward.. but Ill eventually get a handle on it. Im working on occasion, which can kind of suck balls every now and then, but its good to have some extra cash rolling in. And Im seeing someone! And its totally everything that you could ever want or need or love or anything hahah.. Im very happy, I honestly dont know if Ive ever been happier. Its like feeling there are constant butterflies dancing around in my stomach, and when I hold her hand I know that there is no one else Id rather be with, and when Im in her arms I cant help but forget everything else in the world. She makes me feel loved, protected and secure. And I could never ask for anything else..

I am not me
This cannot be
We are not here
I hold too much fear
And when you are gone
All I do is long
I just need to be strong